


We're All Creatures of Habit

by PinkImpala



Series: High School Sweethearts [2]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe - Human, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Blow Jobs, Dinner, Getting Back Together, I Don't Even Know, I Tried, M/M, Smut, explicit - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-08-19
Updated: 2015-06-24
Packaged: 2018-02-13 20:51:23
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 7,701
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2164761
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PinkImpala/pseuds/PinkImpala
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It had been twenty seven years since Dean Winchester had graduated high school. It had been twenty years since Dean had been in love with something other than the shiny black car sitting outside his Lawrence, Kansas suburb home. </p><p>No one ever tells you how fast the years go by, or how much can change. But to Dean everything was the same, the only difference was the look in the mirror and the number of cracks distorting the image. His job consisting of oil stained flannel and the hum of a restored engine managed to keep him afloat all those years, but floating, isn’t moving forward. Until one rainy morning when a familiar trench coat appeared outside the local coffee shop.</p><p>Told from Dean's POV</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Let Me Explain

For now I’ll just talk about that rainy week in October last year.

Lawrence, Kansas has not changed a whole lot since the 80’s. I would know because once I moved here, I never left. But it was raining and I had to run to the store for supplies in case the power went out like it always does. I don’t know why I had to go at the crack of dawn, but I got to the center of town at 6:30 am. There was fog that only rose a foot off the ground and a mist that coated the windshield just enough to require the wipers. I almost slammed the breaks of my car when I saw the stupid trench coat leave Crossroads Coffee Shoppe and get into the shiny black BMW. A half hour later I caught myself walking in circles around the bakery section of the supermarket. I couldn’t believe I let myself get caught up in the width of a guy’s shoulder blades, tucked behind a tan trench coat. I got myself home as fast as I could and opened a bottle of Jack Daniel’s even quicker. 

If I got any sleep that night it was because I was drunk and I passed out. The next morning I woke up to a beeping noise somewhere in the kitchen and my hangover preferred the quiet to drooling on the couch so I got up to find I set my phone’s alarm to go off at 5:30 in the morning. Sober me, fortuitous as always, decided I would most likely be drunk enough the next morning to go find Cas at the coffee shop. So I got up, showered and by 6:15 I was headed to the center of town. I took my time getting there because I knew that a) I really shouldn’t of been driving, and b) a part of me was a nervous wreck. I made it to the coffee shop at 6:25, five minutes before I saw Cas walk back to his car the other morning. And as if on cue, at 6:30 a 42 year old Castiel Novack was walking out with a cup of coffee spilling on his trench coat and backwards blue tie. I almost smirked because he had not changed one bit from what I was able to see.

“Cas?”

He turned around and paused, squinting his eyes and tilting his head slightly to one side. It took him longer than I hoped it would.

**“Dean?”**

“In the flesh.” I smiled like a dork, but Cas still didn’t look happy even after the realization of who I was. He almost looked worried.

**“Sorry, I… I have to go.”**

And just like that Cas got into his car and drove off. I spent the rest of the day elbow deep in car grease and pondering what went wrong.  
The thing is Cas and I didn’t split because we woke up one morning and the coffee tasted different and decided it was because we didn’t love each other anymore. Cas and I split because… because I can’t deal with change. And not just an inability to deal with change, but the inability to want change. Cas had an opportunity that would, that did, change his life forever. He got offered a starting position at a small airport outside of New York City. He wanted to go and while he begged and pleated that I went with, I chose not to. May 18th was the day we packed up the UHAUL truck and Cas and I said our final goodbyes and it was the last time that I pulled him in by the tie and shared a kiss that proved we were supposed to be together. But I learned on that day that apparently we weren’t. And that moment he left, the sound of the tires pulling out of his stupid gravel driveway... I can still hear it sometimes. When I go to buy another pack of beer, or when the countless women drive away the morning after, I hear him leaving. I haven’t seen him since and when I saw Castiel Novack and that stupid trench coat for the first time in almost twenty years, I heard him leaving. I probably sound crazy considering even I think I sound that way. But it is what it is, I guess.

After he chose not to talk to me the first time around I decided to do a little research before I attempted to talk to him for the second time.  
His younger sister Anna didn’t go very far, that is she teaches at the local elementary school and lives one town over. So I decided to come out of my hermit lifestyle and figure out at the very least, why he was in town. I dropped by at the school after the kids had gone home and the staff was getting ready to leave. I parked next to a car I thought looked familiar. A few minutes later I was leaning against the bumper of my car and a now 40 year old Anna was walking out the front door. She looked up after finding her keys and stopped. She took a deep sigh and continued towards me.

**“Dean Winchester. You have not changed one bit.”**

“Neither have you.”

**“So what brings you to Sunnyside Elementary School?”**

“I was just wondering what you’ve been up to lately.”

**“Really? Is that the best excuse you’ve got?”**

“Huh?”

**“I know. I know everything. He told me. And if you were wondering, which I’m sure you are, there’s a Novack family reunion being conducted at the house in two days.”**

“Oh.”

**“Yeah, oh.”**

She went on to get in her car and I pointed curiously at it.

 ****“After our father got to the age where he could no longer drive, I got the convertible.”

She smiled and as she got in her car she just said,

**“Goodbye, Dean Winchester.”**

I watched her drive away before leaving. On my way home I contemplated what my next move would be. The next morning was a repeat of the last with my phone beeping from the kitchen at five thirty in the morning. My headache wasn’t as bad and my breath wasn’t reminiscent of alcohol, but I can’t say I was in a much better mental state. I got in my car for the second 6:15am in a row and made my way to town. I waited for 6:30 to come around and once it did he didn’t walk out of the coffee shop like I had hoped. I walked in and he was sitting in the corner looking out the window. He saw me arrive and chose not to get in his car, but instead hide in a hipster run, burnt coffee establishment. I looked at him and he looked at me. I walked over and he looked away.

**“Why are you here?”**

“Wanted to say hi, see how you were doing. How the job was.”

He gave me a disgruntled look when I asked about the job. Clearly he had remembered that it was what split us up in the first place.

“Sorry.” Was all I could think to say.

 **“Don’t be.”** He paused for a second. **“You spoke to Anna.”**

“I did.”

**“So you know that I am here for a family reunion.”**

“I do.”

**“And that’s the only reason I’m here.”**

That comment hurt. I knew that he didn’t come back for me, but the thought did cross my mind that he understood I was still here and as wondering how I was doing.

“I know.” Was what I was capable of choking out.

**“Look Dean, I can’t stay long, but if it would appease you we can meet here tomorrow morning. We can talk then.”**

“O.. Okay.”

**“Be here at 6.”**

He got up and left and when he pulled out of the parking lot I heard the tires of the UHAUL truck leaving his family’s gravel driveway again. 

It was day 3 of waking up at a ridiculous time in the morning, but it oddly felt worth it. 6 am was not a time that I would be willing to arrive at a coffee shop showered, dressed and clean shaven. At least not for any random person, but I made an exception. I walked into the coffee shop and Cas was already seated in the corner with two cups of coffee in front of him. I walked over and he slid a cup of coffee to my side of the table.

**“You got here on time.”**

“Thanks for having faith in me.”

There was that disgruntled face again.

“So tell me how you’ve been.”

**“The job is just fine. Since I know that’s what you’re really asking.”**

“Never said that.”

**“You didn’t have to. Look, Dean, I wanted one thing and you wanted another, there’s no way around it. I was offered a job I couldn’t refuse and well, you were selfish and decided not to go. I get it, it’s fine.”**

“Cas…”

**“No Dean, really it’s okay.”**

“Are you going to let me talk?”

He made a gesture to let me know I could continue.

“Cas, not a day goes by that I don’t question how you’re doing, or if I made the right choice. I get it. I made my decision and you made yours. I can’t help it if we’re two different people.”

**“Dean..”**

I cut him off. “No, Cas, listen. For once, just listen to what I have to say. I’m not asking for anything other than the knowledge that you’re okay and that you are happy. And maybe I am selfish. And maybe I didn’t want you to go. What was I supposed to do? What was I supposed to think? We were in our 20’s that’s not exactly an intelligent age.”

**“I understand.”**

“Do you?”

**“Yes.”**

“Alright, then maybe you can enlighten me. What would you have wanted, huh? What would you have preferred? Do you really think that twenty years later we would be happily married or something?”

**“I don’t know.”**

“You don’t know. Great.”

**“You said it yourself, we were young and dumb, why wasn’t I supposed to be optimistic in my future goals of flying planes and living with the man I loved? Is that really such a left field idea?”**

“No, but.. But what would I do in New York City? I fix cars for a living, Cas.”

**“There are cars in the city.”**

I couldn’t tell if he was still trying to come up with excuses as to why we should be together. That comment made me question if he still loved me.

“Cas, you had to of known that we would have bumped into each other when you came back here.”

**“I thought that that might be a possibility.”**

“So what was your plan should we have run into each other on better circumstances?”

**“I.. I don’t know. I didn’t really think about it.”**

“Yeah and I don’t drink.”

He sighed and looked into his coffee like somehow it would give him answers to something.

**“Dean.. I don’t want you thinking that I stopped loving you or that I forgot or that I don’t care anymore, because I do.”**

“Okay.”

**“Did I think that something would have been drastically different and we would be able to start over and maybe I’d be able to convince you to come back to New York with me, I don’t know, maybe in my dreams, but I’m not here to take you away from what you’re comfortable with.”**

I had no idea what to say to that.


	2. Piastra

“Cas...”

**“You know what, forget it. I probably should have thought this out better and I need to get going, tomorrow’s the reunion and I have to check in with Anna to see if there’s anything she needs me to do.”**

He started to get up and I stood blocking his way. I wasn’t finished with my questions.

“Cas I’m not done talking to you. You’ve opened a whole new can of worms that we need to discuss.”

**“Fine.”**

“Fine, dinner?”

**“You’re not going to take a grown man to a diner for a milkshake and burger are you?”**

I chuckled at that one. “Nah, I was thinking we could move up to Applebee’s.”

**“Dean…”**

“Alright, alright I’m kidding, I’ll pick you up at 7:30, we can go somewhere nice and I won’t even smell like alcohol.”

I got a half smile out of him with that comment.

**“Okay, 7:30. Pick me up at the Hilton Inn and Suites in the center of town.”**

Just like I said I would I got us a reservation at the only nice restaurant in town. It’s one of those places named for some Italian word that probably means ‘plate’ or something stupid like that. I picked Cas up at 7:30 and he looked nice. Still in his trench coat though, couldn’t get the bastard to take it off if you tried.

**“You look decent.”** Was the first thing he said when he emerged from the sliding doors of the hotel lobby. 

“Thanks, I do know how to get dressed ya know.”

**“I didn’t say you couldn’t.”**

“It was implied.”

**“Says you. So am I over dressed for the diner?”**

I laughed sarcastically and slightly obnoxiously at his comment. 

“Get in.”

**“Alright.”**

We were silent the entire way to the restaurant. Cas didn’t make a sound until he congratulated me for a good choice in dining location. We still didn’t talk as we walked in and I gave my name to the overly perky-valedictorian-prom queen-over achieving looking hostess. She gave me a look when she saw Cas standing behind me awkwardly scanning the room with his overly blue eyes. 

_“You can follow me.”_

“Great.” I huffed.

Luckily we were sitting in the corner of the restaurant next to a window. We ordered our drinks and as we looked at our menus I decided to take a really big risk. Once our waiter came back to take our order I folded my menu and took Cas’s. He looked surprised.

“Hi, we’re going to start with the tomato basil bruschetta and olive oil and then I’ll have the beef wellington with the baked potato and he’ll have the pasta primavera.”

_“How do you want the wellington cooked?”_

“Medium.”

_“And the pasta comes with a salad, what dressing would you like?”_

“Balsamic vinaigrette?” I asked in Cas’s direction and he nodded in approval.

Our waiter took our menus and walked away. 

“So how did I do?”

**“You remember my order?”**

“I do. It was the only time I ever took you somewhere that wasn’t the diner.”

**“You’re off to a good start. Don’t screw it up.”**

“Already losing faith in me?”

**“It’s not difficult.”**

“Now that hurts.”

There was an awkward pause that lasted a while. Cas spent a good five minutes watching the traffic and I tried not to drink the whole bottle of wine in front of us.

“I know you keep refusing to answer, but I’m not going to stop asking. How’s the job?”

**“It’s good. I get to see some really cool places, meet really interesting people.”**

“Good. Do you ever get scared that something will go wrong?”

**“Not as much as I used to. Depending on where I’m going, I essentially just have to go through the same motions I’ve been doing for years. How’s your job?”**

“It’s good. I get by. There are a few loyal clients.”

**“Good.”**

“Cas…” I was interrupted by our waiter with our appetizer. I smiled at him and mouthed, “thanks”, as he left.

We both stared at the food that was just placed in front of us, debating who was going to move first. I don’t even think I was that hungry, neither was Cas. He eventually started eating and asked what I was about to say.

“I don’t remember.”

**“Of course you do.”**

“Ah, jeez. Look Cas I don’t know what I’m expecting to get out of this, I don’t know what you’re expecting, it’s all just, very, unknown.”

**“We want the same thing emotionally, we’re just not on the same page for everything else.”**

“See that’s just it. If I asked you to come home with me, what would you say?” 

**“Dean…”**

“Cas…”

**“I guess I would weigh the pros and cons. Dean as much as I want to say yes, what would happen tomorrow when I have to leave for a family reunion I don’t even want to go to. What would happen when I leave to go back to New York?”**

Cas had a look on his face like he had just stopped himself from saying something incriminating, but unfortunately for him, I had caught on to what he was saying.

“Cas… If you didn’t want to go to the wondrous Novack family reunion, why did you come back? No one is forcing you to go.”

**“I…”**

“Admit it. You came back to see me.”

**“I will admit that that may be a part of it.”**

“And of course I had to buy an expensive piece of meat and overpriced pasta to get that information out of you.”

**“What can I say Dean? I’ve gained a little class.”**

I could feel a smirk that wouldn’t go away being painted on my face. The rat.. overly attractive.. bastard.

.

“You’re coming home with me.”


	3. Consummating the Relationship

I didn’t have time to cry over the fact that the house was in terrible condition or that I had reverted to buying a new t-shirt every few days to keep from having to do laundry. It seemed like I had blinked and Cas’s piercing blue eyes were staring me down as I fumbled for the front door keys, yet a split second ago I was pleading for him to just talk to me. I took a deep breath as a hand slid over mine, in attempt to stop the shaking. I turned around in the amber light from the dying light bulb on the porch and Cas slid his hand from mine, up my arm and to the back of my head. He cautiously took infant steps towards me until I could feel his breath on my lips. My hand stopped shaking as Cas reached behind me to turn the key, unlocking the door with an ease that seemed to have been near impossible for myself, and placed his forehead against mine. Suddenly Cas proved his ability to multitask, placing steady breath on my quivering lips, silencing my heavy breathing caused by nerves and not enough wine. While I was enraptured in a kiss I had been waiting twenty years for, Cas managed to open the door and guide me into the foyer of my beaten up house. I was painting a floor plan in my mind as I tried to decide where the night would commence, but my lack of upkeep kept my mind from making decisions. My head played a constant white fuzz behind my eyelids as not to distract from removing as much of Castiel’s clothes as possible without breaking the bond between our lips. The trench coat was lost somewhere near the front door, his black suit jacket lay at the bottom of the stairs and his white button down was hung on the bedroom door knob. 

All that was left by the time we found the bed was his backwards blue tie. I couldn’t believe he still wore it that way, but it was a great way of teasing him. He was embarrassed but I wouldn’t let it go, even as the blood rushed to his face.

“And you’re telling me you’re all grown up now…” Was what I said as I wrapped the silk tie around my forefinger and pulled him into where our lips were barely touching and our breath shook as it met in the gap between us. I gave him a smirk as he stared at my mouth, almost panting. He tried to lean in, but I playfully leaned back and whispered “not yet”.

He whimpered and I almost felt sorry for him, except I knew what was coming next so the thought didn’t linger. Cas started to moan at the thought that he wasn’t getting what he wanted.

I started to walk back as I let the tie slowly unravel from my finger so that it resembled a leash attached at his neck and when I was satisfied with the distance between us I led Cas to the bed, motioning for him to lay down. Still holding onto his tie, I straddled his waist, lowering myself slowly to sit on his abdomen.

 **“Dean… I…”**

I hushed him quiet as I could see in the look in his eyes he was ready to beg for me to take over, to pick up where we left off. But I couldn’t, I wanted to make sure I got exactly what I wanted out of that moment.

I bit my bottom lip as Cas’s hands found their way to my thighs, slowly making their way to the waistband of my boxers, slipping his finger under the band, gently tugging them away from my skin that had begun to sweat.

Not once did his pale blue gaze leave my own and it felt like maybe we could make up for the time lost.

I leaned forward to kiss him deeply, pulling away to find him sucking on my bottom lip, and I could feel our lips swell beneath the pressure as he pulled me down onto the bed, switching places, only he didn’t stop to sit on my stomach.

He leaned forward kissing my neck, making his way down my chest, taking his time and focusing on soft spots, nibbling on my exposed skin, laying the groundwork for bruises and bite marks that would go on and leave me sore for days to come.

His lips found my waistband, just a few inches lower than they had been before, which he grasped with his teeth, pulling off my body to reveal how hard I had become.

I heard my boxers hit the floor and as if on cue, I could feel Cas’s steady breath on my now throbbing cock, I closed my eyes and arched my back with anticipation. He hovered over me for a moment, forcing me to let out a whimper, not wanting to wait any longer than I had to. It was then that I could feel his smile, not more than a centimeter above my shaft, and without warning his warm lips pressed against the sensitive skin, making his way to the tip. He broke contact only for a moment to look up at me and lick his lips.

He took my cock into his hand, standing me up straight so he could lick the tip. As his hand began to slowly move up and down, he took me into his mouth just in time to clean up the precum I couldn’t hold onto.

“Cas…” I huffed out as I tried to contain myself. I wanted the moment to last as long as I could possibly make it. I started to breathe heavily as he took his time, dragging his tongue from base to tip, wrapping his drenched lips around my cock. I placed my hand on the back of his head, bucking my hips forward, and he breathed in allowing my cock to reach deep into his throat. He looked up at me with smoldering eyes, as I propped myself up with one arm, keeping my other hand tangled in his hair, and I knew that he was going to give in to every request.

He let out a slight moan onto my cock, which was ready to burst as he quickened his pace. I let out moan after moan, knowing the end was near, but never wanted to leave that moment.

“Cas… I…”

**“Come on, you can do it.”**

“I…” I could feel every nerve in my body at that second when the hot cum came bursting out into his mouth, he willingly swallowed every last drop, licking my clean, panting, refusing to lose eye contact.

I fell back onto the bed, closed my eyes and I heard a slight whimper coming from the other end of the bed. I opened my eyes and saw Cas propped up on his heels holding onto his own very hard cock, hoping I would do something about it.

I smirked at him. “I’m sorry, were you expecting something?”

His eyes were screaming at me, so I moved closer to him, kissed his swollen lips and motioned for him to take my place on the bed, I kissed him again, only he moved his head back so I couldn’t reach and I looked at him playfully in shock. His lips drew into a smile and he got down off the bed and disappeared out the door, reemerging a second later with a condom and lube.

“You even came prepared, you sneaky son of a bitch.”

**“Are you disappointed?”**

“Absolutely not.”

**“Bend over.”**

I went to say something but it never made its way out of my mouth, and without a single thought I was bent over the bed and Cas positioned himself behind me.

He leaned forward and kissed the small of my back while his lubed finger found its way around my hole. I gasped when I felt a finger slide inside me, he lingered for just a moment before he started to slip his finger back and forth, slowly, and the second it became too easy, too easy to keep going at the rate we were at, he inserted another finger. I moaned out loud, and Cas leaned in close to my ear,  
“Shhh…”  


I winced when he took his fingers out. Not because it hurt, but because I missed it. I wanted all of him to be in me. The second the thought crossed my mind, he took hold of his cock and circled it around the rim of my hole, causing my body to shake and I wondered how much longer I would be able to stand. Right before my knees gave out he pushed himself inside me. His strokes were long and intentional, ensuring I wasn’t in pain, and we were lost in a haze of moans and panting and holding onto what we could as not to fall over. I reached behind me and met his hand which was holding onto my hip, interlacing our fingers. His pace steadily quickened, managing to go deeper and deeper with each thrust.

Finally I heard Cas give out a loud sigh, slowing down, deliberately pulling me in hard onto his cock, filling the condom with each final stroke.

He collapsed onto the bed behind me and I let my knees give out, unable to move for the longest time, as my body registered the sheer amount of pleasure running through my body. Through the heavy breathing and fumbling when trying to move we found ourselves lying next to each other half under the covers, sticking from the sweat, trying to calm our bodies.

He kissed my lips and my brain tried to collect itself, allowing me to drift into sleep, just as he whispered, what I thought was an, ‘I love you’.


	4. Everyone Deserves Morning Sex and Pancakes

When I woke up, everything was cast in blue from the sun that was yet to rise over the mountains in the distance. Castiel was laying on his stomach with white sheets haphazardly sprawled out over the lower half of his body. His skin looked tan, and I thought to myself if he had recently flown somewhere warm. His shoulder blades made me remember the strength he had shown the night before as the outline of his muscles came through. I didn’t want to wake him as for the first time since we had reunited, he looked peaceful. I got up and made coffee, sitting on the front porch, allowing the chill of the Kansas morning to wake up the rest of my body that the caffeine wasn’t strong enough to reach.

As soon as the sun broke over the horizon a hoarse voice was coming from the doorway.

**“It’s freezing. Why are you out here?”**

“It wakes me up.”

**“Well come inside and I’ll make breakfast.”**

I chuckled at the idea of Castiel making me breakfast like the housewife I had seen him becoming when we first started dating back in high school. I got up out of my grandfatherly rocking chair and joined him in the kitchen. He was already rummaging through everything finding what he needed.

**“Pancakes okay? Not to make you feel bad but you don’t really have a well stocked kitchen.”**

I couldn’t help but let out a laugh. It felt good to have so many reasons to smile.

“Pancakes are good.”

I stood behind Castiel as he flipped pancakes, wrapping my arms around his waist and kissing the back of his neck.

**“Dean.”**

“What?”

**“You’re making this rather difficult.”**

“What? You can’t flip pancakes while I stand here?”

**“No, I can flip pancakes just fine. But when I have a man giving my body a reason to contradict what my brain is telling me to do, it’s a little difficult.”**

“So that’s not a mini spatula in your pocket and you really are happy to see me?”

**“Did we just go back to high school, or was it just your lame joke?”**

“That hurts.”

**“Good. Now sit down and eat your damn pancakes.”**

“Alright. Alright. No need to get feisty with me.”

I picked up the plate of pancakes and when I turned around there was a nicely set up table with two place settings. I didn’t think I had seen the table that clean in years.

**“I cleaned.”**

“I see that. Uh… Thanks?”

**“You’re welcome.”**

We sat in silence once again, while we ate breakfast. I became confused over why we never found anything to say when we hadn’t seen each other in so long. Perhaps we would of felt awkward talking about our situations that caused us to split in the first place, and then I started pondering what was going to happen when he went back to New York. I assumed he was only going to be in town for a couple more days since the reunion was that night. I had decided that it was then, or never, so I decided to ask.

“I know it’s a bit early in the morning for us to discuss this kind of thing, but, uh… when are you going back to New York?”

**“As funny as it sounds, I’m flying myself home in two days. There’s a flight to LaGuardia airport through my airline.”**

“You can do that?”

**“When the other pilot gets sick, I guess so.”**

“So the reunion is tonight?”

**“Yes.”**

“And the day after that. The day before you go home...”

**“I see where you’re going with this. And if you want us to meet again before I leave, I’m willing, but I don’t want it to be emotionally painful, either. I do actually have to fly a plane filled with people and I’d rather not be in distraught.”**

“I get that. I was just wondering…”

**“If…”**

“More like what is going to happen now.”

**“What are you proposing?”**

“I’m not proposing anything. I was just curious at to what your thoughts were.”

**“Uh-hu. And you weren’t wondering at all if this was going to be a thing.”**

“And now I regret bringing it up.”

**“Dean. What were you expecting?”**

“I don’t know. I really don’t know. What I do know is that I enjoyed our evening together and I wouldn’t mind if it happened again.”

**“Alright. Then would you be willing to put in equal effort to make that happen?”**

“Even after you leave this sad excuse of a state?”

**“Yes Dean, even after I leave this sad excuse of a state.”**


	5. Epilogue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Note that I switched the point of view to Castiel's. I don't really have a reason for it, I just felt like it.

I wasn’t sure what to expect after that morning. Dean had a way of coming up with the craziest ideas. His heart was in the right place, but he wasn’t always practical. He said he wanted to try to be in a relationship again, but I have to admit I was hesitant to agree. We thought that if we made a schedule it would be easier; decide who was going to travel to which state each time, and what we would do if something came up. It was all very planned out. And I agreed to go through with it.

* * *

The night of the family reunion, everyone was curious. Anna still had the same big mouth she always did, and told everyone that Dean and I had come in contact. I could always count on her to be the same after all these years. Dad asked if it was true and the hope in his eyes was enough to convince me I had made the right choice. I think he felt partially responsible for everything that happened since it was his idea in the first place for us to spend time together. My brother thought it would be funny to reminisce about the girls I attempted to ask out before I met Dean, my awkward first kiss in the car that eventually became Anna’s, and as the favorite child always does, finished with a wonderful bit about how great it was to finally see his little bro really happy. 

I didn’t realize everyone had been counting on this to happen for all these years. I felt bad. I kept thinking that I was the one who screwed up, like all anyone ever expected of me was to marry Dean and settle down or something, not become a pilot for one of the country’s largest airlines.

My aunt hugged me, my uncle looked me up and down and nodded in approval (he was still getting used to the idea of me being gay), my cousins wanted to know if I was going to settle down (probably more out of a competitive sense, I wouldn’t put it past them to have a pool going for the month of the wedding) and I was sure that it was then that I remembered the intensity of our relationship all those years ago. You forget how many nights were spent at one or the other’s house, how many times you went out for dinner and a movie, and you forget the number of ‘I love you’s. Eventually you just recognize it as one big event in your life that came and went. But with Dean it had always been different. The truth is, we didn’t move on and I can’t say we even attempted to. 

The rest of the reunion went smoothly, nothing more agonizing than the occasional accidental mention of politics or comparing who went where on vacation and spent what on which car. But I knew that with the night coming to a close, the amount of time between the present and the time I would see Dean before heading home was closer. I was nervous. Not in the first-time kind of way, in the ‘this may be the last time ever’ kind of way. It’s nice when you don’t know that the last time you kiss someone, or hug someone, or even speak to them, is the last time. It makes it easier. 

And while I knew I had the elaborate plan with Dean about when we would visit, I couldn’t help but worry. We were in love once before and we let our work get in the way. I was mostly worried about what would happen once we decided to make that decision to live together. I knew I wouldn’t get Dean to leave Kansas, at least not without a fight, and I wasn’t sure I wanted to leave New York. It was almost like being put back at square one. And that’s a scary thought.

Once the majority of my family had left Anna, Raphael, and I began cleaning and I could feel the pit in my stomach growing. It got to the point where Anna stopped me to ask

“You’re tanner than that.”

**“Huh?”**

“Why is your face a color somewhere between Snow White and sea green?”

**“Uh. I’m supposed to see Dean again before I head home.”** I said while I tried to get back to working, hoping to make the conversation quick and to the point without saying too much.

“And that’s a problem because? Oh, wait, that’s right, it’s not.”

**“Anna…”**

“You’re worried that the same thing is going to happen all over again.”

**“I’ll admit the thought has crossed my mind.”**

“Get over it. You’re what 42 years old, for god’s sake, you’re adults, make a tough decision for once in your life.”

**“Thanks, Anna.”**

“You’re welcome.”

I have to admit that while her point was perfectly valid, it wasn’t easy to hear. It was difficult being in love with Dean and being in love with where I was in life, how far I had gotten, and it wasn’t like it would be so difficult for me to relocate, or to come to terms with the fact that maybe I could scale back my lifestyle to finally settle down, but it was still hard. I was open to compromise, but I wondered if Dean would be too. It sounds selfish, but I didn’t want to be the only one completely changing my life to make room for someone else, even if it was Dean.

By the time we finished cleaning it was around 1:30 in the morning and I half debated falling asleep on the couch, even if it did smell like my aunt’s powdery perfume. In reality Dean’s place was closer than the hotel, so I went out back and called him.

**“Dean? Yeah, it’s me.”**

“Why are you awake at this hour?”

**“My siblings and I just finished cleaning up after the reunion.”**

“Must of been some reunion. Why are you calling me?”

**“Yeah, well, I was just thinking, I’m tired and I don’t really want to sleep here and your place is closer than the hotel, so…”**

“Yes.”

**“I’ll be over in five minutes.”**

Our houses really were that close. And since no one is on the roads at 1:30 in the morning, it really only took me four minutes to get there. I paused a minute before I knocked on the door and as I raised my hand to knock, he opened the door.

**“Hi.”**

“Hi.”

We stood in the doorway for a second staring at each other. I searched his eyes for what he was thinking while he searched mine. Our phone conversation didn’t include what was going to happen. I was rather tired, but I didn’t want to make him think I was blowing him off either. I guess we really were in a relationship again, or at least it felt that way. After a few moments he moved out of the way so I could enter his home. He had cleaned since the last time I was there. Like really cleaned, almost as clean as his car.

“Yeah, I.. I spent all day cleaning.”

**“I see that.”**

“So are you tired, did you want to stay up a bit…”

**“I am rather tired. You were kind of the hot topic at the reunion. I was answering questions all night.”**

He looked at me with confused eyes.

**“Anna.”**

“Ah. Yes. Anna.”

I gave him a weak smile and nod of the head. I was really tired. We went back to standing awkwardly, not saying anything and not looking at each other.

**“Are you tired, or where you hoping for something else? I mean I am going to be here tomorrow as well. I’m not saying no to be a jerk or...”**

“Huh? Oh, um, yeah, I’m getting pretty tired too, I was kind of surprised you called, so I wasn’t expecting anything. Want to just go to bed?”

**“That would be nice.”**

We made our way up to his room and we began undressing for bed. He realized that I wasn’t exactly prepared for spending the night at his place and asked if I wanted something to sleep in. I declined as it was muggy and I didn’t think either of us really planned on sleeping in much of anything. We crawled into bed in our boxers and curled up next to each other. It was nice and I began to realized that we would possibly have many more nights falling asleep next to each other. No expectations, no unfilled desires, just two people who are tired and love each other falling asleep side by side.

I fell asleep almost instantly. Almost. Dean does have a slight snore that kept it from being instantaneous.

* * *

The next morning I woke up to a dark room with light peeking out from behind the curtain. Dean’s arm was slung over my waist and his face was buried in the back of my neck. I glimpsed at my watch in time for the chime to go off as it hit 6 am. I sighed deeply closing my eyes again, resting my arm on top of Dean’s. I felt our fingers interlock and Dean’s grip tighten.

It started with a few pecks on the back of my shoulder. I felt his body tighten behind me as he moved in closer, closing the gap between us. His flirtatious kisses turned to nibbling on my sensitive skin leaving a trail of bite marks along my shoulder blade, he turned me over to continue down onto my collarbone. He bit down playfully and I gasped. He looked up at me and whispered in my ear “good morning”.

I couldn’t stop the smile from plastering itself on my face. Not even his passionate kisses broke the intense joy that seemed to overrule my body that morning. I felt like I should have in college that morning. Dean made quick work of refamiliarizing his hands with the outlines of my body while a sensitive kiss was left on all the right places. My breath began to quicken with each time he came close to hitting exactly where I wanted, but purposefully missing by an inch.

He began to slide down my body, looking up at me with every shade of green in his eyes and a sly smile. His lips found my hip bone followed by his teeth and my waistband. Without thought or use of more than a muscle I laid on Dean’s old black sheets exposed, unable to contain my emotions that poured through every inch of my body.

**“Dean.”**

The second the final syllable of his name left my lips, the tip of his tongue drew a slow line up my shaft, reserving himself from completely submitting from what I wanted. His hands found their way up my body, dragging them back down my abs while his breath drove me crazy as he hovered over me, laying down a kiss or two in all the right places. I began to squirm and his grip tightened around my waist, forcing me to lay still. I closed my eyes, placing a hand on the back of his head, running my fingers through sandy hair. Without warning I felt his soft lips encircle the tip of my now throbbing cock, slowly taking in more and more of me. I let out a silent gasp and my back arched as much as it could without moving my hips too far away from the warmth of his tongue.

**“D..Dean..”**

His pace quickened, grasping my waist with force, digging his nails into my skin, and all I could do was lay there. Taking every stroke of his mouth, feeling his tongue dance circles around my sensitive skin.

He pulled back, pausing for moment. I opened my eyes to look down at him and he was looking at me with that smile. That smile that told me he had just gotten started.

He crawled back up towards me, holding my stare, he reached over to the nightstand, and beneath all the magazines and notebooks he pulled out a condom and lube. He whispered in my ear to roll over, which I did without hesitation. I was staring at wall in front of me biting my lower lip waiting for something to happen. I felt his fingertips draw slow lines down my back followed by kisses. I heard a him take a deep breath and braced myself, grasping onto the bed frame. I moaned loudly the instant he slid inside me. His movement was deliberate, it was consuming, and it was everything.

My back arched and my moans were uncontrollable. I was on the verge of exploding as he reached beneath me and began to stroke my cock. His body was in complete sync as I attempted to keep from collapsing. I could hear him panting behind me, his moans increased and I could feel we were both approaching the end. Dean began thrusting harder, pushing in deeper, until every inch made its way inside me. We both let out one last moan of intense pleasure in the midst of what would be Dean’s last thrust before filling the condom completely, and then flipped me over with ease, taking me into his mouth just in time for me to finish.

Dean swallowed every last drop, and laid down next to me. I was smiling and looked over at him.

**“Good morning to you, too.”**

* * *

A half hour later we managed to pull ourselves out of bed and get dressed. We decided to meet up for breakfast later as I wanted to head back to the hotel to freshen up. At 8:30 we met at the same coffee shop we had a few days before. I pulled into the parking lot and he was leaning against his car in front of the shop. I parked, got out of the car, kissed my boyfriend, took his hand, and the second we opened the door to walk in, Anna looked up to see us together.

“Finally.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading and pushing me to write this chapter!


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